


The Shovel Talks

by Omnivorous_Reader



Category: Fast and the Furious Series, Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Small amounts of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-10-06 13:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20507555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnivorous_Reader/pseuds/Omnivorous_Reader
Summary: Deckard really is the worst at giving Luke the Shovel Talk. But his family isn’t.





	1. Hattie

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's been a few years since I've posted a fanfic, but I'm glad to be writing again. I've been slowly getting into the rest of the Fast and Furious movies, and was delighted to find that we get to know the Shaw family, and how bat-shit insane they all are. And I just love the idea of Luke having to deal with the rest of Deckard's family while trying to date him.

Luke stood near one of the several long tables that were stacked with food and drink. He had stepped away from the cheering, laughing crowd that made up his family and what felt like the rest of the island. If he was to keep up, he’d need another few beers in him. He popped the cap off one, taking a sip and simply enjoying the sights.

“You know he wouldn’t mind, right?” A British voice comes out of nowhere. Hattie must have timed, if her smug smirk said anything as Luke choked on his beer.

“What?” He pounded on his chest, still coughing.

“Deck. He wouldn’t mind,” she said again, sipping casually at her own beer.

“Wouldn’t mind what, exactly?” Luke side-eyed her. The younger Shaw was relaxing against the table, still smirking, but refusing to look at him. Instead she was looking out at the crowd, specifically at her older brother being taught by Luke’s how to properly handle traditional Samoan weapons. By the look on Shaw’s face, Jonah was probably spewing some bullshit and trying to trick the Brit, and Shaw was having none of it. Luke chuckled-- what he wouldn’t give to see those two go head to head.

“Oh you know, snogging him silly,” Hattie said, almost as if she was commenting on the weather. “Or anything else I never want to envision my brother doing.” She was smirking up at him again, with a little glint in her eye.

“And what gave you that impression?” Luke choked out, this time without the help of beer. “I thought you and I had a thing.You know. The whole kissing--thing?” he said, rapidly pointing a finger between the two of them, desperately trying to distract her away from the current topic. She just snorted and shook her head.

“That? It wasn’t anything. We both know it was a spur of the moment. Something that didn’t turn out to be anything.” Hattie stated. She kept staring out at the party and tracking the movements of the other Samoans as they danced anywhere they could to the makeshift band that had set itself up on the edges of the group, at the people who were weaving their way around the other tables covered in food, and the rest who were sitting around and sharing stories. “But, you and Deck? It seems like you two can’t keep your eyes off each other.”

Had it been that obvious? Luke thought. He hadn’t been eye-fucking Deckard that much. Had he? Sure, Deckard in his clothes was a really nice sight. Anyone could admit that the bigger clothes look nice, even adorable on the smaller man. Especially since every few minutes he would have to keep rolling the sleeves up, just emphasize how much smaller he was compared to Luke. Anyone would find that sight hot, not just Luke, so nobody could blame him for watching Deckard, right?

“Do you think he really wouldn’t mind if I put the moves on him?” Luke asked and shot Hattie a roguish smile. If Deckard really did have even a little bit of a warm feeling towards Luke, then Luke could work with that. He’s gotten worse people to like him.

“Yes, I really think he won’t mind,” Hattie said, rolling her eyes at the large man’s confidence.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to lay them on him then, huh?” Sending Hattie one more beaming smile, Luke set his beer down and took a step towards the group of people, ready to drag Deckard away.

“Ah, before you do that-” Hattie said, putting her own beer down.

The next thing Luke knew, Hattie had him pushed back up against the table, a knife for pineapple at his jugular and a carving knife meant for a roast shoved expertly under his balls. The knife at his throat was forcing his head to crane back, but the other was keeping him perfectly still.

“What the fu-” Luke could barely say anything before the lower knife started to dig in.

“Now listen here, Hobbs. If anything, and I mean anything, happens to my brother while you’re with him, I will make sure your cock isn’t the only thing I cut off. If you even think of hurting him, I will find you and rip your spine out and beat you with it, right before I systematically break each of your fingers and toes, cut them off and force feed them to you. Do I make myself clear?”

Luke could only give a small, shaky nod in response.

“Glad to hear it. Now, go woo my brother.” Hattie swiftly returned the knives and picked her beer up. “God knows he needs someone in his life.” She gave him one more pointed look before disappearing into the crowd, and leaving Luke to think over his decision to actually go after the older Shaw. After a minute, with the lingering feeling of steel near two very crucial places on his body, Luke finally found his way towards Deckard.


	2. Owen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I wanted to thank everyone leaving kudos and comments on the first chapter. You guys are so nice, it was amazing to wake up in the morning and see that all of you loved this story so much!
> 
> It took me some time to get this chapter out, mostly because I wasn't sure how to write Owen's character, but after writing my other story, Jaffa Cakes , I feel a lot better about writing his character and was able to bring you the next chapter of Shovel Talks!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

The sun was slowly setting across Los Angeles, bathing the city in a beautiful array of color and casting long shadows across the city. The city’s lights were turning on, just as the dying light of the day left the buildings, giving them a different kind of life. Luke could only give a soft smile to the city that had been his home for such a long time. He loved Samoa, but Los Angeles had a life of its own that could not be replicated anywhere. Unfortunately, traffic came with that life, which Luke had been hoping to avoid. 

Walking out of the DSS headquarters, Luke headed towards his SUV, texting as he went. He had a large bag thrown over his shoulder, extra work to do at home, because for the next week he wouldn’t be coming back into the offices. After a lot of begging, and a bit of threatening, Luke had finally gotten some time off to spend with his daughter and boyfriend. 

Luke couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face at the thought of even being able to call Deckard Shaw his boyfriend. After being threatened by Deckard’s little sister, Luke had been able to pull the man away from the after party of saving the world from Eteon. It took a bit of time, but Luke had finally been able to convince Deckard, that no, Luke wasn’t after his little sister, but Deckard himself. Luke could still see the wide-eyed look Deckard had before he had literally thrown himself at Luke and proceeded to shove his tongue down the larger man’s throat. 

And hopefully they would be reenacting that night this week, but first Luke had to pick up ingredients for the overly complicated dish Deckard was planning to make to celebrate Luke’s time off. And by the increasing amount of passive aggressive texts, it seemed like Luke did not have a single clue as to what those ingredients were. 

“For the last time, Deck, I don’t know what the hell a marrow is,” Luke mumbled to himself. He was almost to his car when a rolling eyes emoji popped onto his screen. Rolling his own eyes, Luke opened his car door and tossed his bag in the passenger seat. Getting in and buckling up, his phone went off again. And Luke groaned at the message.

From Princess: _ Grab some candy floss when you’re there as well _

“What the hell do you mean by ‘candy floss’?” Luke huffed, sending the question. Shaking his head, Luke reached up and adjusted the rear view mirror. “Deck, move shit back if you’re going to drive my car, you small-ass elf.”

As Luke moved the mirror back into position, he was met with the eyes of a severely pissed off little brother. 

“Owen,” Luke said, keeping eye contact with those almost glowing eyes. 

“Hobbs,” Owen Shaw hissed back. He was leaning back into the seat directly behind Luke’s, looking relaxed like breaking into his brother’s boyfriend’s car was normal. 

“Look, if you just wanted a ride, I’m sure Deck-” Luke started to say before he heard the click of a gun’s safety and then saw said gun being raised to the back of his head in the mirror. 

“Shut up,” Owen growled at him and shoved the gun in the space between the driver’s seat and the headrest. The gun was a shock of cold against Luke’s neck and made him jerk forward, but the gun still followed. “We’re going to go for a drive. So, start the car, do as I say, and stay quiet.”

Luke stared back at Owen, trying to gauge whether or not the younger Shaw would actually shoot him. The last time they had actually seen each other was back at the NATO base when Luke had been trying to arrest him. Since then, he hadn’t heard much about what Owen was up to. Even Deckard hadn’t even told him anything. Whenever the older Shaw would get a call from his brother, he would go into another room to talk. So, Luke was estimating a fifty-fifty chance of Owen actually going through with his threat.

“All right, we’ll go for a drive, but just remember who you’re pointing that gun at, Boy,” Luke said steely. The younger man just sneered at him and gestured with his gun for Luke to get on with it. Luke’s mouth tightened but did as Owen said and swiftly they were making their way out of the DSS headquarters and out onto the streets of L.A.

The ride was silent for some time, only Owen’s dry, emotionless voice cutting into it. Luke could tell that they were slowly leaving the city, and he had a good idea of Owen’s plans. Luke knew that if he just stayed quiet, he might be a goner, but having spent so much time with Deckard and Hattie, Luke also had an idea of how to make a Shaw lose their cool and go off script. 

“Hey, what’s ‘candy floss’? Deck asked me to pick some up,” Luke said, looking briefly at Owen’s surprised face in the rear view mirror. 

“What?” Owen said, incredulously. 

“Candy floss? Is that a real thing? I mean, it seems as if half the stuff that comes out of Deck’s mouth is total bull, but it didn’t seem like it this time,” Luke rambled, trying to watch the road and Owen’s reaction at the same time. “So, is it a purely Bri-”

“Shut the fuck up.” The gun’s barrel dug painfully into Luke’s neck and he gripped the wheel hard, so not to whip around and smack it out of Owen’s hands. And then probably crash both of them into oncoming traffic. “Just because you’re screwing my brother doesn’t mean you get to act like we’re mates.”

“And me screwing your brother doesn’t mean you get to give me the whole alpha male bullshit either,” Luke snapped back. What was with the Shaws and going insane when Luke tried to get with one of their siblings. “So how about we cut the crap, and you tell me what you want.”

“I don’t think you’ve realized what position you’re in, Hobbs. I’m the one calling the shots. Now be a nice little lapdog and do what I say,” Owen hissed and roughly jabbed the gun into Luke’s neck again.

“Watch it, Shaw,” Luke growled. “Or I swear to god I will beat your ass bloody once we get out of this car.”

“Are you sure about that?” Owen asked, smugness seeping into his tone. “Remember what Deck did to you last time I was hurt?”

Luke paused, letting the words sink in. Ok, so maybe beating up little brother is a big no-no, he thought regretfully. Still doesn’t mean the bastard is going to get off scot-free. He was about to say something to that effect, when Owen cut him off.

“Take the exit and keep going straight.” The next exit signaled them leaving the city and into the empty mountains surrounding it instead. 

“Where the fuck are we going?”

“You’ll see.” Owen said, refusing to say anything else to his hostage. 

Luke could only keep going, watching as the sun was getting closer and closer to the horizon as they made their way up a small mountain. The road had quickly become dirt as they got higher and was slowly looking more like a cliff than an actual road. Only when they finally reached a large clearing at one of the turns did Owen finally allow them to stop. 

“Get out of the car slowly.” Luke sighed and did as he was told. He could hear Owen mirroring his actions behind him as they opened and closed the car’s doors. “Hands above your head. Walk forward.”

Silently going along with Owen’s demands, Luke walked towards the edge of the cliff they were on. And Luke had to admit, the view was amazing. From up here, he could see almost the whole city: the final rays of sunlight glinting off the skyscrapers, flowing rivers of cars winding their way through, and faint stars in the sky slightly dusting the whole image. “You picked one hell of a place to off me, Owen.”

“Oh, this is just one of many places I could make sure your body won’t be found.” It sounded like Owen was keeping his distance this time. Probably knew Luke was not against the idea of throwing the smaller man off the cliff they were standing on. 

“Look, Owen. It doesn’t have to be like this. If this is about me and your brother, then talk to Deck. Because I think he’d be pretty upset if you killed me,” Luke called back to the other man, trying to get him to see reason.

“He’d get over it. He’d see that he doesn’t need some muscle head to drag him down,” Owen responded and cocked his gun. The noise seemed to swell and echo, making Luke dry swallow. “I honestly don’t even know what he sees in you.”

“Then ask him for Christ’s sake!” Luke shouted. “Cause if you think for a second I’d ever hurt him, you’re wrong! He knows I’ll always have his back, just like he has mine. I would do anything for him!”

“Anything?” Owen asked. “Even die for him?”

“Yes.” Luke’s voice was firm as he gave a small nod, knowing he had just sealed his fate.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you then, Hobbs,” Owen said. Luke could hear the click of the gun and screwed his eyes shut.

A gunshot wrung out. 

Luke could feel his heart miss a beat, and waited for it to actually stop. Instead he heard footsteps walking away from him. Turning, Luke saw Owen going towards a green sport car parked a short distance away. Opening the door, he turned back to Luke, calling out:

“Candy floss is cotton candy, you dumbass.”

Deftly, Owen was in the car and driving away, his car spraying gravel at Luke’s SUV, the tiny rocks making small noises against the metal. Lowering his arms, Luke could still hear the rush of blood in his ears as he stared at where the other man had just been. 

“I’m starting to really hate some of the Shaw family,” Luke said to himself, scrubbing a hand down his face. Walking on unsteady legs, he made it back to the car and just sat for a minute. Checking his phone he had several messages from Deck and no bars to respond to them. Collecting himself, Luke started the car, but immediately realized what Owen had shot:

The SUV’s front right tire.

“I fucking hope he falls out of another plane,” Luke said, slowly letting his head hit the stearing wheel in defeat, just as the sun finally slipped under the horizon and cast the lonely mountain in blackness. 

After fumbling in the dark for almost an hour, Luke was able to get the spare tire on and was able to make his way back into the city. As soon as his phone got signal, he texted Deckard and let him know that he had had some car problems and was on his way to the store and then home. He felt a small smile form on his face as he saw a heart emoji amidst the insults Deckard was rapidly sending.

After another hour, Luke was finally able to pull into his driveway and park. The house was dark, except for the lights in the kitchen, meaning Sam was already in bed and Deckard had stayed up for him. Luke could only smile. 

After grabbing the groceries and letting himself in, Luke heard soft footsteps coming from the kitchen. Looking over, Luke saw a sight that he hoped he would see many more times. Standing in the doorway was Deckard, wearing too long sweatpants and too large shirt. The light of the kitchen gave his face a soft look and made his smile seem even more angelic to Luke. 

“Hey there, Princess,” Luke called out softly, trying not to wake Sam. Deckard just gave him a fond look and an eye roll at the nickname. They both walked towards each other, meeting halfway. Luke gently wrapped his arms around Deckard’s waist and pulled them flush together. “What are you doing up?”

“Waiting for your slow ass,” Deckard mumbled as he wrapped his own arms around Luke’s neck and brought him down for a kiss. Their lips gently locked, staying chaste, with a slow passion behind it. It was a nice change from their usual frantic kisses, and left both of them feeling warm and content. “But I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it?” Luke asked, looking down at Deckard, who for some reason was not looking him in the eye. Instead, he was looking off to the side, an almost vulnerable look on his face. “Everything ok, Deck?”

“It’s just…” the smaller man trailed off. Luke gently grabbed Deckard’s chin, making him look Luke in eyes. Silently asking again, Luke watched Deckard steel himself before finally asking his question. “Well, it’s just that Owen called today. He’s going to be in town tomorrow. I was wondering if he could spend the next few days with us.”

Luke was not sure what facial expression he was making, but by Deckard’s tentative smile dropping away into disappointment, Luke had to guess he probably looked horrified. Quickly shaking himself of his shock, Luke responded. “No, no. It’s fine. Your sister and I already get along, so it makes sense that I should get along with Owen as well, right?”

Deckard smiled in return. “It’s good both of you want to bury the hatchet.”

Luke could only return the smile, as Deckard leaned forward and started to pepper Luke’s neck with kisses and small nips. Luke brought a hand up to rest on the back of Deckard’s neck, keeping him there. But, even though small shivers of pleasure went through his body, Luke could not help but stare off into the distance over Deckard’s shoulder. Swirling thoughts of having to deal with a vengeful little brother for the next few days would not stop filling his mind.


	3. Magdalene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Finally, we're nearing the end. This would have been the last chapter, but my mind likes working in overdrive, and now I have a small epilogue planned. 
> 
> This was a bit of a tricky chapter for me, because unlike Hattie and Owen, Mama Shaw really doesn't have much screen time, so her character was a bit harder for me to pin down. Either way, it was very enjoyable to write her.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

“Bye Dad!”

“Have fun, sweetie!” Luke Hobbs called back as he watched the front door being slammed shut, and leaving him completely alone. Cocking his head to the side, he stared for a moment, still not sure what had just happened. 

For the last few weeks, Owen and Hattie had been staying in Los Angeles, both giving loose reasons as to why they were there. Luke had been able to see through the pair’s bullshit, but Deckard had just laughed at Luke’s concerns. 

“They always do this,” Deckard sighed and shook his head. “Every time I get with someone, those two freak out and try to scare them away. Just ignore them. They’re mostly harmless.”

Luke did not particularly like the playful wink Deckard had thrown at him after that last comment, but he decided to take it in stride. He did not say anything as he noticed the two almost became a natural occurrence in the Hobbs home.

It had started with Sam asking them to stay for the weekly Hobbs’ movie night. Luke still could not stop laughing at the look of horror that crossed Hattie’s face. Apparently she was not as good as her brothers when it came to children, and she had immediately started to panic when the thought of sitting through a children’s movie was mentioned. Luckily, Sam had chosen  _ Moana _ , and Hattie had visibly relaxed. 

Since then, Sam would invite “Uncle Owen” and “Aunt Hattie” to help her with homework, to practice soccer, or anything else she could think of. It was obvious that the younger Shaw siblings adored Sam just as much as their older sibling, and that they were also just as much wrapped around her little finger as Deckard was. Luke had been happy to have another two people in Sam’s life, but he had put his foot down the third time Owen had let her skip school. 

Slowly, the small branch of the Hobbs family had fused with the Shaw family, giving Sam an even bigger support group, and Luke two more annoying younger siblings. And even though it had taken time for him to adjust- specifically to Owen- Luke had to admit he was glad they were in his life now. But that did not mean he did not get suspicious once in awhile. Like now.

For the last two weeks, he would walk into a room and see the two Shaws with their heads together and whispering. Once they noticed him, they would whip around to look at him and say nothing until he left the room. Again, Deckard just shrugged and told him not to worry.

“They’re probably plannin’ a heist that they don’t want you knowing about.” Even with that non-reassurance, Luke did not let his paranoia go away and watched the two closely. So, he knew immediately they were planning something big when they had asked Sam if she wanted to go to the zoo. Of course, she had accepted. Luke was not surprised by this, but he was extremely surprised when they begged Deckard to go with them. And then started to try and convince Luke to stay home.

“Come on, Luke. You just got back from a mission, do you really want to go out and about now?” Hattie asked, looking innocent.

“Yes,” he had responded flatly.

“She has a point, She-hulk. You just came back from Korea, you shouldn’t be runnin’ about,” Deckard piped up. Luke had raised his eyebrows in surprise, but the look Deckard was sending him was real concern, unlike the faux expression Hattie was sending him. So, Luke had conceded, and let the four go without him. 

And out the door they went, leaving Luke to just stare after them, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop. Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, Luke went to the living room, hoping to catch up on a few football games he had missed. Dropping onto the couch, Luke got comfortable and put his feet up on the coffee table. 

Maybe Hattie and Owen were actually concerned about his health. Or they just wanted to keep Deckard’s attention on them. Or they were planning to convince Sam to change her name to Shaw. Either way, Luke was happy to have the rest of the afternoon to himself, just to watch mindless television and not have to deal with any other human being for the next few hours. 

Turning on the TV, Luke leaned back into the couch and rested his arms along its back. I’m definitely going to enjoy today, he thought, letting a lazy smile spread across his face. 

That was until the window on his right exploded into a million shards of glass and sprayed across the whole living room. Luke let out a surprised shout and jumped off the couch, as a canister of tear gas landed in the middle of the room. Smoke started to fill the room, causing Luke to start coughing and eyes to water. Struggling to move around the furniture and get away from the smoke, Luke heard several more crashes from around the house.

Before he knew it, there were several bodies surrounding him. Luke could only see blurred figures as he tried to fight back and swung his arm wildly. He cursed when his punch met thin air. He could feel hands on him, trying to push him to the ground, but he thrashed out of their hold and was able to grab one of the intruders around the waist. Pulling them down, Luke pulled his arm back, ready to pummel the intruder. However, just as his fist was about to connect, pain exploded through his skull and everything went black.

~~~

Slowly, consciousness started to come back, along with a rhythmic pounding in his head. Luke’s body felt heavy and sluggish as he tried to blink his eyes and try to look around. When the darkness refused to recede, he shook his head slightly to help clear his sight. That’s when he felt the cloth of the bag on his head softly brush against his skin, and causing him to jerk his whole body.

All over Luke’s body, he could feel heavy, thick ropes holding him in place on the sturdy, steel chair he was sitting in. It felt like a large amount of the rope was criss-crossed over his chest, secure and forcing him to calm his breathing, unless he wanted the mass of rope digging in every time he took a breath. 

Taking several slow breaths, Luke gathered his thoughts and tried to assess the situation. Clearly, he had been kidnapped from his home. Whoever had him knew his abilities and had taken them into consideration and knew perfectly well how to counter them. What Luke did not know was who had taken him, or why. Racking his mind, Luke could think of dozens of people who would want revenge, but not many who could actually pull it off. 

And then it hit him. There were two people who he nearly saw daily that could have pulled this kind of stunt off. Who had been sneaking around the last two weeks, and were conveniently out with their big brother and had a perfect alibi.

“All right, you assholes. I get it- you don’t like me dating your big bro! But guess what? We’re not going to split, no matter what you do! You can threaten, beat, stab me all you want, but I’m not going to break up with him just because we have some kind of beef. So, if you untying me right this second, I might even consider not beating your asses too badly!” 

Luke’s had started off with him yelling, but by the time he was done, he was growling his threats, completely done with the two younger Shaw siblings. He waited a minute, hoping to feel his bindings loosen, but nothing happened. Jerking in the chair, and not being able to move it an inch, Luke let out a vicious snarl. 

“If you two don’t get your asses moving in the next three seconds, I will make sure that not even Deckard can recognize your faces. Because if I’m not out of this bullshit soon, I will crush your heads in so far, you won’t be able to tell your mouth from you asshole,” Luke ground out, patience completely gone. “And once I’ve done that, I’ll celebrate by having rough,  _ extremely _ flexible sex with your brother, just like we have every night. And I’ll take him over, and over, and over, until he can’t even remember anything except the feeling of my dick. And even if you two somehow don’t get pummeled by my fists today, I’ll still get down and dirty with your big bro because he loves me and that’s not going to change anytime soon.”

Letting out a breath, Luke glared at the blackness still encompassing his vision. He was ready to start thrashing and fighting, but the bag over his head was swiftly removed and he was blinded by a harsh light. Blinking, Luke could see that he was in a big, empty room, with only one bare light above his head, the rest of the room shrouded in shadows. Squinting, Luke started at the figure sitting across from him in a chair that must have been the partner to the one he was in. His eyes slowly adjusted and he was finally able to see who was probably the one who kidnapped him.

“Well, while it’s not my main concern, I am glad to hear Dex has a very vigorous sex life,” Magdalene Shaw chuckled, taking a sip of her tea. 

Luke could feel his jaw drop by several inches. The matriarchal Shaw was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, one hand resting on the chair’s armrest, and the other delicately holding an expensive tea cup to her lips. She was smirking back at him, waiting for his mind to reboot. She raised her eyebrow at him.

“While I don’t doubt Oh and Hat could pull this off, I was hoping you’d give me a little credit. Who do you think encouraged my children to gain the skills to take men like you down?”

Shaking himself, Luke snapped his mouth shut and could only stare. He had heard from the Shaw siblings and even Dom Toretto that Queenie Shaw was not someone you pissed off. And it seemed like he had a front row seat to just how dangerous she could be.

“Cat got your tongue, love?” She sneered.

“Not particularly. Just realizing why all your kids are bat shit insane,” Luke said, side-eyeing the woman across from him. Luke honestly had been expecting some kind of retribution for that comment, but instead, Magdalene just laughed at him, her eyes crinkling in surprise and laughter.

“My, not what I was expecting from you, Agent Hobbs,” she gave out one last chuckle, her voice suddenly turning icy. “And here I thought you’d be down licking my shoes, begging my forgiveness for the comments about my son.”

Luke could only cringe. “Didn’t mean to say those things in front of you, Ma’am. I thought it had been Owen and Hattie. I was just trying to scare them.”

“Then I think you should give up on that,” she said nonchalantly. “I doubt any of my children would even find you a sliver of indimidatin’, love.”

“You really know how to butter a man up, don’t you,” Luke responded, his voice extremely dry.

“Oh yes, dear. How do you think I kept my husband around for so long?” She said, giving him a wink. One that reminded him of the ones Deckard would send him when the Brit shared an inside joke with his siblings, one that Luke did not understand. He was not sure if he liked the eerily similar action between son and mother.

“Look,” Luke started. “Would you mind getting your boys hiding in the corner there to cut these ropes? It’s a bit odd to be talking to you tied up, Ma’am.”

“Ah, no can do, love. Those stay on,” she said, smirking and took another sip of tea. “I rather like having my men at a disadvantage. No matter what I’m doing with them at the moment.”

Luke tried to hide the look of horror and disgust that took over his face, but by the laugh the matriarchal Shaw gave, he was not very successful. “Ma’am please. If you brought me here to threaten me about Deckard, could you hurry it up? I would like to get back to enjoying my afternoon.”

“Well, bugger me then-”

Luke made a choking noise.

“I guess we’ll just have to move on to the boring part then,” she sighed and stood up. She made a signal to someone who Luke assumed was behind him, because the next thing he knew, there was a thick wire digging into his throat. He desperately tried to shake the person off, but no matter how much or which way he jerked his head, the wire kept digging in and cut off his air. Opening and closing his fists, Luke tried to flex his muscles to break the ropes, but nothing worked. He was completely, and utterly stuck. Gasping for air, Luke could only stare ahead at Magdalene, as she just stood in front of him, delicately holding her tea cup and smirking down at him.

“Now, I’m sure Oh and Hat already gave you the typical spiel, but let’s just make sure it sticks in that big, thick head of yours.”

Luke tried baring his teeth at her, but it felt ineffective as he could feel his face straining as he still kept trying to alleviate the pressure on his neck. He could feel himself becoming lightheaded, but that did not seem to deter the woman in front of him. She roughly grabbed his face, making sure he stared into her eyes.

“If you ever lay a hand on my boy, I’ll make sure that you never see daylight again. The last thing you’ll ever feel is the weight of a hundred thousand kilos of shite crushing you to death. Or maybe, I’ll have me boys here crush your head in so hard, you won’t be able to tell your mouth from your arsehole. So, are we understood?”

Black spots were slowly encompassing Luke’s eyesight as he tried to stay awake. Magdalene gave his head a small shake, demanding an answer. Luke gave a small, shaky nod.

“Good.” She smiled at him. Suddenly, the wire was gone from Luke’s neck and he began to gulp down air. Patting his face, Magdalene continued. “Because I have several rings already picked out that Deckard will love.”

Luke lifted his head up from where he had let it drop in exhaustion, and just stared at the older woman, still trying to catch his breath. Weakly, he asked. “What?”

“For the wedding, of course, love!” She smiled down on him. “Welcome to the family, Luke.”

The smiling, insane face of Magdalene Shaw was the last thing Luke saw before pain exploded in Luke’s head and everything went black again.

~~~

Blinking slowly, Luke woke up to the setting sun softly shining on him from where he was stretched out on his couch. What happened, he thought and slowly sat up. Looking around, he could see that the window in the living room was perfectly intact, and there was not a single piece of glass on the floor. And the TV had turned itself off because of inactivity.

Carefully standing up, Luke started to make his way around the house. Nothing seemed out of place, even though Luke could have sworn that he had heard other crashes when Magdalene’s men had taken him. Entering the bathroom, Luke examined his neck in the mirror, but there was nothing. No mark, no bruises to show the abuse it had taken probably a couple hours before. 

“That crafty bitch,” Luke mumbled to himself and let out a near silent chuckle. He could not wait to see what else she had in store for the future. 

Hearing the front door opening, Luke left the bathroom to see the three Shaw siblings and Sam coming into the house. Deckard was leading the group, with a sleeping Sam resting on one of his hips, her arms wrapped around his neck. Behind him were Hattie and Owen, who closed the door softly as not to wake Sam up. 

All four were sporting different headbands that showed off the ears of various animals. Sam was wearing tiger ears, Owen had black bear, Hattie had snow leopard, and Luke was not absolutely sure, but it looked like Deckard had panda ears. 

“Well, aren’t all you adorable,” Luke whispered as Deckard walked towards him. Luke gave him a soft smile as he saw Sam’s eyes flutter open.

“Hi Dad,” she yawned and snuggled closer to Deckard. 

“Hey there, sweetie. Did you have fun?” He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. 

“Yeah,” she giggled softly. 

“How ‘bout you tell him all about it tomorrow, yeah? You need to go to bed, love” Deckard whispered down to Sam.

“Ok,” she mumbled into his shirt, already half asleep. Sharing a smile with Luke, Deckard moved past him and towards Sam’s bedroom. Luke watched them go and waited until Deckard disappeared from view before he whipped back around to glare at the other two Shaws.

“Did you have fun today, Luke?’ Hattie asked, giving him a toothy grin. 

“Very funny. Did you help her plan that whole thing?” Luke demanded steely. 

“Don’t know what you mean, mate.” Owen smirked.

“Oh, don’t you dare start that bullshit with me, boy. While your guys’s mom is a very capable woman, I don’t think she could have timed it  _ that _ perfectly,” Luke said, extremely irritated. 

“I didn’t think you’d be so paranoid. We were at the zoo with Deckard and Sammy the whole day, you know that,” Hattie said, her impish look not diminishing at all. Owen let out a little snicker next to her. Opening his mouth to let the two siblings have it, Luke was instead interrupted by Deckard. 

“Oi, Sam wants to thank you two for today,” he said, jerking his head in the direction of Sam’s room. Both Hattie and Owen gave him twin smirks as they brushed by him and into the bedroom. 

“What was that about?” Deckard asked, giving Luke a confused look.

“Nothing. They were just showing off their new ears,” Luke said and moved toward Deckard and wrapped an arm around the smaller man’s waist and let the other one stroke the artificial ears Deckard was wearing. “Speaking of which, are these supposed to be a panda’s?” 

“No, they’re a lemur’s,” Deckard huffed. “We let Sammy pick them out. And apparently she thought I would be a perfect lemur.”

“I can definitely see it,” Luke commented, adjusting the ears to sit better on Deckard’s head. “You’re just as tricky as one, equally as fast, and you’re about the same size, too.”

“You dick,” Deckard laughed, lightly punching Luke’s arm. 

“And just as adorable,” Luke said, waggling his eyebrows at Deckard, who let out a snort. “How about you and me act like animals and get wild tonight?”

The smaller man just stared at Luke, before his face almost split in half with the smile he flashed Luke. “That is by far the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard.”

“But it worked, didn’t it?” Luke smiled back.

“I can’t believe that it did.” Deckard grabbed the back of Luke’s neck, pulling him down to let the bigger man ravage his mouth. They stay connected for some time, barely letting each other have any air before they went back at it. But, finally, Luke pulled back to stare at Deckard, whose face was a nice pink.

“Come on, Princess, let’s get wild,” he whispered against Deckard’s lips. Deckard gave out another amused snort before leading the way to their bedroom. The siblings might have not actually heard his threat earlier, but he was definitely going to deliver on it. Because their room was right up against the wall Luke and Deckard’s bed was facing. Letting a small smirk on his face, Luke let the promise of tonight purge any thoughts of manipulative mother-in-laws and annoying little siblings. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, feel free to comment! It really helps me stay motivated and crank out new fics each week.  
Also, if you ever want to talk Shobbs, the Shaw siblings, or anything else, feel free to pop in at my Tumblr!  
omnivorousshipper


	4. Epilogue (Or Deckard's Revenge)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It seems like we finally made it to the end! I'm in tears by how much support I've received on this series! Every day I wake up to more kudos on this fic and my other ones. Thank you all so much, it really helps me to stay motivated and writing fics.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Deckard leaned back in his chair, taking a sip from his champagne glass and enjoyed the music from the nearby band. He let a smile slowly spread across his face as he took in the sights. Not too far away, he could see some of Dominic Toretto’s team talking shop with a few of Luke’s brothers, all of them talking at a mile a minute and gesturing wildly. On the other side of the party, he could see Hattie cornering Ramsey near the drinks table, both looking at each other with small smirks and full body glances. Further away from them was Owen, who was keeping all the children distracted, by jumping around the group and singing a perfect rendition of  _ Beauty and the Beast _ ’s Gaston. And in a far corner, Deckard could see his mother talking with Mr. Nobody and Little Nobody, both seemingly hanging onto every word coming from the matriarcal Shaw. 

“And what are you smiling about?”

Deckard looked up from his people watching, and his smile grew soft. Standing in front of him was Luke, who was dressed to the nines, just like everyone else at the party.

“Well, it is my wedding after all. It would be weird if I wasn’t smiling,” Decakrd smirked and took a small sip from his champagne. Luke gave a small laugh, letting his own smile take over his face. And Deckard had to admit, Luke looked amazing like this: wearing a well fitted tux, showing off his figure. Meanwhile, he looked more relaxed than he had in months, the lines around his eyes softening, and his smile was like the sun. Deckard could not be happier about his choice in husbands. 

“Well, I’m just glad we haven’t had any major disasters. Yet.” Luke gave a cautious glance around, no doubt expecting something to explode at any moment. Satisfied nothing would be going up in flames any time, Luke took a sit next to Deckard, and laced their hands together. “I was expecting a lot more trouble between our families. And a few of your…  _ friends _ .”

Deckard let out a snort. Contrary to what Luke thought, Deckard did have friends. Albeit, they all were thieves, assassins, mercenaries, and any other kind of criminal you could think of. And lucky enough, they were all behaving, although that could be because they all knew not to cross a Shaw. Looking around again, Deckard could see some of them scattered amongst the other guests: a few were swapping stories with Letty, another two were playing a drinking game with Locke and Dinkley, and another trying to swipe something from the gift table. 

“They’re mostly harmless with the right amount of blackmail.” Deckard winked.

“Our families or your friends?” Luke asked, narrowing his eyes at Deckard. The smaller man kept his smirk firmly in place. Rolling his eyes, Luke let the subject drop.

The two sat quietly for a few moments, Luke softly rubbing his thumb along the back of Deckard’s hand, both enjoying the wedding reception. They watched as Luke’s mother chased away the thief at the gift table, Jonah try to beat Dom in an arm wrestling match, and Little Nobody running away from Deckard’s mother. 

Chuckling, Deckard looked over at Luke and gave his hand a small squeeze. Once Luke turned towards him, Deckard could not help but say, “You know, Twinkletoes, I’m a bit surprised. Usually my family’s a little more aggressive when I get with someone. I didn’t think they would accept you so quickly, at least not without giving some threats.”

Luke froze, and it was obvious he was trying to hide whatever emotion was trying to surface on his face. Deckard’s smile dropped and he squinted his eyes at Luke. 

“They threatened you, didn’t they?”

“Honestly, I thought you knew,” Luke said, rubbing the back of his neck. He was still holding onto Deckard’s hand, but refusing to look him in the eye.

“What did they do?” Deckard asked, steel in his tone.

“Uh, Hattie had a knife near places it shouldn’t be. Owen showed me one of his favorite spots to dump bodies. And your mom and I had a small chat-”

Deckard raised an eyebrow.

“- which happened after she kidnapped me, then had one of her henchmen try to strangle me to death,” Luke finished. He finally looked back at Deckard, whose face had gone blank. “Deck?”

“I can’t believe them. I thought they could see that they didn’t need to do that with you,” Deckard said, anger bubbling inside him. “I thought they could see how happy we were.”

“Deck, they do. They just love you too much not to do anything,” Luke said soothingly. Gently, he brought their still connected hands up, and kissed the back of Deckard’s hand. “And I don’t really care that they did. I told them straight up that I’m not going to hurt you. And that I don’t plan on leaving any time soon.” 

Rotating their entwined hands, Luke showed off their new wedding rings. Both a black obsidian with gold strands spider-webbing against the dark material. Deckard did not know where Luke had found them, but he had fallen in love with them when Luke had proposed. 

“I guess you’re right,” Deckard conceded, squeezing Luke’s hand. Suddenly he gave a small, mischief-filled smile. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t pay them back in kind.”

“What are you going to do?” Luke asked, a matching smirk on his face.

“I’m going to make sure our honeymoon is fully paid for, for one,” Deckard said, and stood up. He leaned over and gave Luke a quick peck before straightening up and fixing the cuffs on his white tux. Taking a quick glance around, he found his targets and headed towards the drink table. 

Both Owen and Hattie were leaning against the table, Owen having left the children and joined Hattie when Brian had come out with popsicles for them, and Ramsey having left to settle an argument between Tej and Roman.  _ Perfect _ , Deckard thought as he made his way over to his siblings. 

“I have a question for you two,” Deckard told them once he was stood in front of them.

“Oh? Deck, I thought we went over this, you should have gone with the dress,” Owen said, flashing a cheeky grin.

“I have to agree, you do have the figure for it.” Hattie bumped her shoulder against Owen’s, both of them laughing. 

“Very funny,” Deckard said dryly, an unimpressed look on his face. “I was going to ask if either of you had threatened Luke any time he and I were dating.”

Both of the younger Shaws’ eyes went wide before each made to leave in different directions, trying to escape. But, quick as a striking snake, Deckard had both of them by the ear before they could run. 

“Seems like I got my answer,” he growled and pinched their ears to make them stop struggling. Twin hisses sounded from the siblings as they stilled in Deckard’s grip, both knowing he would not be letting go until he wanted to. “Mind telling me why?”  
“With the way you two were acting during the whole Snowflake incident, how was I supposed to know he would be serious?” Hattie justified as she tried to pry Deckard’s hand off her. 

“He sent you to prison, Deck! He didn’t scream husband material at the time!” Owen hissed out, clawing at any part of Deckard he could reach before Deckard would jerk on his ear and make him nearly lose his balance. 

“I get where both of you were coming from,” Deckard sighed, trying to rein in his anger. “But. If I ever hear you two pull that kind of stunt again, I’ll make sure nobody ever takes you two serious ever again. You-”

He gave a tug on Hattie’s ear.

“- I might not be an agent anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have contacts. I’ll make sure all of your colleagues, from any secret government organization, know about the time you threw up during the finals of a spelling contest. And you-”

He gave an even sharper tug on Owen’s ear. 

“- every single criminal, even the scum hiding in alleyways in bumfuck nowhere, will hear all about how you used to wet the bed until you were nine. You’ll never have another crew that respects you.”

By this point, Owen and Hattie were frozen to the spot, looking up at Deckard with wide eyes and jaws dropped. 

“You wouldn’t dare,” Hattie said, unbelievingly.

“Try me,” Deckard demanded.

“Bloody hell, you’re serious,” Owen whispered in horror. 

“I love both of you, but if either of you try to hurt Luke, neither of you will know a day of peace. I’ll share every stupid and embaressing thing you both did when you were kids, and make it so neither of you can get work anywhere. Understood?”

Both gave shaky nods, not caring that it hurt their already sore ears, only wanting away from their big brother. 

“Good. Now go enjoy the rest of the party.” Deckard released them and smirked as they both dashed off, getting as far away from Deckard as they could without leaving Luke’s backyard. Shaking his head, Deckard pulled out his phone and moved on to the next part of his revenge. After a little bit of searching and money transfers, Deckard was on the move again. Heading towards his mother’s table, he could see that it was only Mr. Nobody and his mother.

“Ah, there you are, sweetheart! What did Oh and Hat do this time?” His mother asked, sending him a knowing smile. 

“Not important,” Deckard responded and came over to stand next to his mother. Placing his hand on her shoulder, he sent a smile just as knowing as her’s. “I just wanted to come over and say thank you for paying for Luke and I’s honeymoon.” 

His smile widened as he saw her eyebrows raise slightly in surprise. 

“Why, Mads, that’s so kind of you!” Mr. Nobody said and raised his glass towards her. 

“Of course I did. What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t make sure my son had a nice honeymoon,” she said, with a trace of smugness and pride in her voice. She looked back at Deckard and pulled him down to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I do hope you two enjoy your trip through Asia.”

Her hand was like steel as she kept Deckard next to her face and whispered:

“Which accounts did you take the money out of?”

“All four of your Swiss bank accounts,” he whispered back, a mischievous glint in his eye. 

“Shit! You shouldn’t have been able to find the fourth one,” she cursed.

“Next time you threaten my husband, I’ll take every last pence from all your accounts.” 

Leveling one last glare at him, she gently gave him a pat on the cheek and let him go. Speaking up, she said: “Too bad your poor Da, couldn’t be here to see you get married.”

“Oh, did he pass away?” Mr. Nobody asked, sending a concerned look between mother and son. Deckard let out an annoyed huff of air.

“Nah, he’s just stuck in a prison in Russia,” Deckard stated, sending his mother a look.

“Oh,” Mr. Nobody said and then looked over at the matriarchal Shaw as well. “So, you’re single then?”

“And that’s my cue,” Deckard said quickly, and speed walked away from the laughter coming from his mother. Walking through the party, Deckard was greeted by several people, but tried to keep the conversations short, telling them the truth: he wanted to get back to his newly wed husband. Jonah laughed and gave him a one armed hug, saying “no problem, Uso!”. While Dinkley had almost physically knocked Deckard down with his drunken antics. And at the last stretch to Luke, the O'Connor children came crashing into his legs and a tired Mia after them.

“All went well?” Luke asked once Deckard made it back.

“Yeah. I don’t think they’ll be bothering you again.” Deckard sat down and took Luke’s hand in his. 

“They’re my in-laws, Deck. They’re always going to be bothering me,” Luke said flatly. “But, I have to say, it is a bit satisfying to see them licking their wounds after what you did.”

Searching through the crowd, Deckard could see Ramsey rubbing Hattie’s arm in comfort as Hattie massaged her ear and pouted. On the other side, he could see Tej and Roman on either side of Owen, who was sulking. Deckard could only roll his eyes at his sibling pathetic display.

“We’ll need to keep an eye on all of them, I don’t want anyone to have to explain the birds and the bees today,” Deckard grumbled. Luke gave a small laugh, but nodded in agreement nonetheless.

“Hey!”

Luke and Deckard jerked their attention at Locke, who standing on one of the chairs, swaying precariously. He had a spoon in one hand and a champagne flute in the other.

“This is the only day in my life I can force you two to kiss! So, you bet your sweet, totally hot, asses that I’m going to take full advantage! Now kiss!” Locke screamed at them as several people rushed to shut him up before any of the kids started to repeat what he just said. Before anyone got to him, Locke started to bang his spoon against the glass sharply, causing the sound to even overpower the band. 

“Well, I guess he’s right. This is the only day he gets to do that,” Luke laughed. Turning to Deckard, he waggled his eyebrows.

“Fine, but if he tries this again, I’m kicking his arse out,” Deckard huffed, but leaned towards Luke anyway.

Luke brushed his lips against Deckard’s, teasingly. Frustrated, Deckard grabbed the back of Luke’s head, and smashed their mouths together, drawing many cheers and laughs from everyone watching them. Deckard let the sounds of laughter and the clinking of glasses fade away as he lost himself in Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to all of you who have followed this fic! I really enjoyed writing it, and was super happy to see other people enjoyed it too!
> 
> If you ever want to talk Shobbs, the Shaw sibs, or anything else, feel free to hit me up on my tumblr!  
omnivorousshipper


End file.
